Be afraid, I’ve been thinking….

So, I wrote a bunch back in December (maybe earlier, the wine makes it hard to remember and I’m too lazy to go back and check) and I guess it was pretty good/funny/horrific stuff.

Was feeling guilty the other day that I have totally ignored my blog and that got me to thinking…  Why wasn’t I posting stuff anymore?  And it’s actually a pretty scary thing.  When I start thinking.  Almost nothing good comes from me thinking, cause I think some pretty wierd shit. (is spellcheck working?  cause “wierd” looks totally wrong….)

What I thought this time was quite the epiphany, though.  I’m a sarcastic person.  When I’m down I turn my down into funny.  It’s a coping mechanism.  If I can’t laugh at myself, who can I laugh at?  Since January, my life has definitely turned up.  I’m back to work, I love what I do, I let go of some baggage I’d been lugging around….  Ya know, just stuff.  I realized I have a harder time writing when I’m actually content than I do when I’m stressed out and depressed.  So does that mean I need to let things get bad again before I pen something that others will find entertaining to read?  HELL NO!  I just need to work harder at it.  My son thinks I’m pretty funny – even now, when I’m content with life.  WIN!

I’m gonna have to tap my son’s memory for this one, but he says I say some shit that just makes him laugh and makes him really like me as a “cool mom” – and I think it’s pretty awesome that my son likes me.  I mean, kids HAVE to love their parents.  It’s in the kids handbook or something.  But to LIKE your parent?  That’s pretty awesome.

So here’s a teaser – until I can ask him what else he remembers:
1. We’re driving down a side road and this dude is walking down the sidewalk looking like a total douchewaffle.  I say, “I bet he thinks he’s cool.  He’s cool – like Nickleback.”
2. I’m sitting outside in the sun reading.  I can hear my son through the sliding glass door describing some situation he witnessed.  It was f-ing this and f-ing that and f everything within a 30 second tirade. So I lecture him like this – “Look, I heard everything and you said the “f” word about 15 times in the last 30 seconds.  I think one “f” would have been enough.

Is it too late to revise my parenting skills?  I think I’m falling short of the mark here.



Be gentle with me… or at least hold me afterwards

I signed up on to try out this blogging thing.  The site I was originally blogging on wouldn’t let me do what I wanted to and that’s what happens when you try to control me.  I leave and find someone who will treat me better.  This is a good thing to know about me.  Let’s hope WordPress and I can have a long, mutually beneficial relationship.  Be nice to me, love me gently and hold me afterwards.  You can also whisper nice things in my ear like how sexy and funny I am.  Then you will need to make me a sandwich.  And a glass of wine or a beer would go nicely.  I, in turn, will be faithful and funny and always say good things about you.  But now I’m way off track.  Or maybe not cause I’m not really sure where I was going with this in the first place.

Ya know, that happens to me a lot in life.  I’ll put on my coat to go run errands, grab my wallet, spend 20 minutes looking for my glasses, set them down to find my keys then when I find my keys I realize I don’t have my glasses and by then I’m too hot so I’ll take off my coat and go looking for my glasses.  By the time I find the damn glasses and get my coat back on and head out to the car I’ve completely forgotten what it was that I was going to go do in the first place.  So I go get a bottle of wine and hope that I’ll remember what I needed to do before I decide to open the wine.  It’s a wonder anything gets done around here.  Seems the same is happening with my writing.  But bear with me and I’ll try to figure this thing out.